For the past two weeks I have been feeling...well...lonely. My fiance' has been super busy with work and his own interests/friends and I do not want to take him away from that. I have called or texted my own friends to see if they want to hang out, go out, see a movie, or any other way to say HEY lets get together and I was met with either a) no response or b)the words "not interested". This all got me thinking...what the heck is wrong? Am I really that bad of a person to be around? Luckily enough one of my friends told me that sometimes my actions can come off as rude, uncaring or condesending which set me for a loop. Did I feel like I was attacked? Yes but in a good way. Here I am thinking that everything is so fine and dandy when in reality it is not. I thanked my friend a lot for telling me the truth and for pointing out the errors of my ways. So as a teacher and the way my personality works, if I am faced with a problem I must come up with some sort of a solution. I also want to be a girl that is worth celebrating, a girl that people want to be around. Without further adieu...
1: Take Responsibility for my actions and words.
I have learned that the word "okay" which I have used a lot is a conversation killer. It shows that you truly do not care what the person is saying. I am a victim of that word and I truly do not want to be. I must also realize that I am not a victim. My problems are my own -- David did not cause them, my family did not cause them, my co-workers did not cause them, I CAUSED THEM. I must take ownership of my failures as well as my successes. This will surely be helpful!
2: Be honest with what I do for work and outside of work.
I love the fact that I am a teacher, especially to Kindergarteners. They have renewed my love of play, my love of excitement, my love of curiousity, my love of innoncence. So why downplay it? It truly makes me happy.
3: Wear more pretty things, even if it is just to a Starbucks by myself.
When I woke up this morning and as I was putting my outfit together, I decided to wear a feather headband, a blue sweater, purple drapey blouse, black jean skirt, tights, and my mocassin booties and let me say I have never felt so happy in my life. I felt confident walking down the hallways at work, teaching my class, and walking to the coffeeshop where I am typing up this post. Dress up. It is worth it.
4: Remember to SMILE SMILE SMILE.
Smiling sends signals to your brain that you are happy. Don't you want to be happy? Yeah I thought so.
5: Live every moment as a celebration.
If I feel like work is a drag, I am not putting my all into it. If I feel that seeing my students in the morning is a great miracle and a joy; even that student that gets on my nerves; I am happy throughout the entire day. Treat every moment in my life as a present. That co-worker who you have not seen in a long time? CELEBRATE. That ice-tea you know you need in the morning to survive and wake up? CELEBRATE.
6: Compliment and praise/celebrate others.
Oh boy....this one, I will admit, I have had lots of lack in. I have not recognized the hard work my fiance' does (he is a teacher for kids with autism). I have not asked how my friend Josy's day is going or how she has been. My dogs -- I have lacked in giving them pets and hugs and attention. UGH! No wonder why people do not want to be around me! I need to celebrate THEM as well. I have been so negative and judgemental as of late and I do not like. MUST STOP NOW. I need to give more compliments, be charming, listen with an attentive ear, and so forth.
7: Stop striving for perfection and just BE.
I know I am not perfect and sometimes I might come across that way. I have to just BE and realize that all of this is a work in progress and I am doing great.
8: If I am by myself, treat it as a GIFT.
I am by myself as I type this. As soon as I am done I will walk around the Union Square Holiday market and I will be happy. My company is special and will treat it as such.
Thanks to Charade for the inspiration to write this post. If I come up with any more ways to celebrate me, I will post them.