Monday, June 29, 2015

The Q&A Twitter Chat That Went Incredibly Wrong

This afternoon I hope readers of the Internet had their bowls of popcorn ready. Why do you ask?

This happened today:

It became a big huge fireball of failure. E.L. James is doing some publicity campaigns for her latest dren which included a Twitter chat. Unfortunately, she is not answering any more questions, or any questions with actual relevance, but there were some amazing Twitter users asking the important questions filled with snark -- from asking about her “inspirations” and to the blatant call out of James’ horrible glorification of an abusive relationship.

Most people know about my disdain for E.L James. If you do not, here is my opinion in a nutshell -- the 8th grade class from this year who I had when they were in the 3rd grade have written essays, prose, poetry, and narratives with better quality and imagination than this author. Plus, I do not agree with the glamorization of domestic abuse and rape culture. Furthermore, while I do not know about the lifestyle that she horribly wrote about in great detail, I have heard various accounts that she misrepresented it.

I’m not sure which member of the marketing team thought that an open Q&A on Twitter was a good idea. In any event, I did partake in this hashtag and here is what I submitted: ‪

#‎AskELJames‬ Give advice on how you found a editor/publisher that was dumb enough to accept your mindless poorly written drivel.

#AskELJames Must feel great to dismiss an audience as you rack in their money for having no talent and misrepresentation of a lifestyle.
#AskELJames Do you realize that your chat is sponsored by a country that has no regard for women's rights?

#ASKELJames How does it feel to misrepresent an entire lifestyle to a group of women who've never before been exposed to it?

#AskELJames Have any advice on how single women can bag successful British screenwriters so their mindless drivel will get published?

#AskELJames How much breath have you baited for Stephanie Meyer's next novel?

#AskELJames How many nickels did you get for the overuse of the words "and" "then" "said"?

#AskELJames What is the safe word for "stop writing such crap"?

#AskELJames Are you considering retelling the story from the perspective of someone who can actually formulate a coherent sentence?

#AskELJames Have you decided to do research on erotica before publishing another book?

#AskELJames Are you aware that the majority of your writing is compared to that of a middle school student?

Now time to get back to my scheduled reading of English literature.

Monday, June 1, 2015

What Am I Reading: June Book Releases + To Be Read

Well hello there June! So nice to see you. This month is the greatest month in the lives of teachers, especially this one, as it is THE LAST MONTH OF SCHOOL! Which means more reading and not having to get up at 6am, even though my body is already trained to do that. In any event, lets get this show on the road!

New Releases for June
1: Even When You Lie To Me by Jessica Alcott
I love a good love story. It seems that June is coming up with a lot of them but none has me as excited as this one! This book is to be released on June 7, 2015. Here is the book description: Fans of John Green's Looking for Alaska as well as Lauren Oliver and Sarah Dessen will embrace this provocative debut novel, an exploration of taboo love set against the backdrop of a suburban high school. Charlie, a senior, isn’t looking forward to her last year of high school. Another year of living in the shadow of her best friend, Lila. Another year of hiding behind the covers of her favorite novels. Another year of navigating her tense relationship with her perfectionist mom. But everything changes when she meets her new English teacher. Mr. Drummond is smart. Irreverent. Funny. Hot. Everyone loves him. And Charlie thinks he’s the only one who gets her. She also thinks she might not be the only one with a crush. In this stunning debut, Jessica Alcott explores relationships—and their boundaries—in a way that is both searingly honest and sympathetic.

2: Blackout: Remembering The Things I Drank to Forget by Sarah Hepola
What a lot of people do not know about me is that my uncle suffered with the disease known as alcoholism. He wouldn't remember breaking my cousins arm twice, beating up my aunt/his wife, and other various abusive issues. Therefore when this book is released, I will get it and try to relate as best as I can. This book is to be released on June 23, 2015. Here is the book description: "It's such a savage thing to lose your memory, but the crazy thing is, it doesn't hurt one bit. A blackout doesn't sting, or stab, or leave a scar when it robs you. Close your eyes and open them again. That's what a blackout feels like." For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was "the gasoline of all adventure." She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened twenty-first-century woman. But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologized for things she couldn't remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead. A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out getting yourself back in return.

3: A Field Guide to Awkward Silences by Alexandria Petri
Every girl in their teenage/early 20's have had their bouts with awkwardness and fear. Not this girl. She, in my opinion, is a role model for all of us awkward girls out there. Her memoir is due out on Tuesday June 2, 2015. Here is the book description: Most twentysomethings spend a lot of time avoiding awkwardness.Not Alexandra Petri. Afraid of rejection? Alexandra Petri has auditioned for America’s Next Top Model. Afraid of looking like an idiot? Alexandra Petri lost Jeopardy! by answering “Who is that dude?” on national TV. Afraid of bad jokes? Alexandra Petri won an international pun championship. Petri has been a debutante, reenacted the Civil War, and fended off suitors at a Star Wars convention while wearing a Jabba the Hutt suit. One time, she let some cult members she met on the street baptize her, just to be polite. She’s a connoisseur of the kind of awkwardness that most people spend whole lifetimes trying to avoid. If John Hodgman and Amy Sedaris had a baby…they would never let Petri babysit it. But Petri is here to tell you: Everything you fear is not so bad. Trust her. She’s tried it. And in the course of her misadventures, she’s learned that there are worse things out there than awkwardness—and that interesting things start to happen when you stop caring what people think.

What I Am Reading in the month of June
This month I am going to try and keep my TBR open but will attempt to read a book a day since I will be on summer break. These are the two titles that I know I will be definitely reading.

1: Yes, Please by Amy Poehler:
Dani needs some laughs and apparently this book, as I am told, will give me just that. Here is the description: Do you want to get to know the woman we first came to love on Comedy Central's Upright Citizens Brigade? Do you want to spend some time with the lady who made you howl with laughter on Saturday Night Live, and in movies like Baby Mama, Blades of Glory, and They Came Together? Do you find yourself daydreaming about hanging out with the actor behind the brilliant Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation? Did you wish you were in the audience at the last two Golden Globes ceremonies, so you could bask in the hilarity of Amy's one-liners? If your answer to these questions is "Yes Please!" then you are in luck. In her first book, one of our most beloved funny folk delivers a smart, pointed, and ultimately inspirational read. Full of the comedic skill that makes us all love Amy, Yes Please is a rich and varied collection of stories, lists, poetry (Plastic Surgery Haiku, to be specific), photographs, mantras and advice. With chapters like "Treat Your Career Like a Bad Boyfriend," "Plain Girl Versus the Demon" and "The Robots Will Kill Us All" Yes Please will make you think as much as it will make you laugh. Honest, personal, real, and righteous, Yes Please is full of words to live by.

2: H is for Hawk by Helen McDonald: I wrote about this book in March of this year. Now I am just getting to it.