Hindsight Is Most Certainly 2020 -- Yearly Reflection

Oh 2020....you have been one heck of a year. To say that this year is for the history books is a big understatement. Throught the power of a End of the Year journaling workshop with the one and only Gala Darling, let me reflect on this year as best as I can.

1. What are you most proud of this year? I am most proud of the way that I dealt with taking care of my father. It was a heavy ordeal with the constant changes of his health. However it showed me and taught me just how strong and resilient I can be when faced with challenges. I love a good challenge and will meet it head on and accept and conquer as best as I can.
2.How have you grown in 2020? How have I grown in 2020 -- by learning how to slow the fuck down, how to be more open and vulnerable with the ones that I love, creating boundaries, not going down or following a negative spiral (this does take some more work and lessons to learn however I am getting better at it), being more confident in my skin, learning that there is life outide of social media and not everything I see on social media is the be all end all truth, learning how to feel my feelings, and just returning to myself.
3.What happened this year that you responded completely differently to? What happened this year that I responded completely differently to is the way I navigate my relationships that has broken my codependent nature. While I still think of others, I respond now with "how will this help me? how will this spark my joy?" instead of people pleasing.
4.What pattern did you break? The pattern of codependency. Oh my goddess was I one codependent mess -- always relying on others for my happiness. Nope. No more. It feels goood.
5.What are your top 3 accomplishments? My top 3 accomplishments are getting tenure as an educator, being the caregiver for my father, and getting 6 figures in my savings account.
6.Which relationships have deepened this year? The relationships that have deepened this year are the relationship to myself, my best friends Veronica/Dan Law/Michael Peelman and the relationship with my boyfriend Mike Semko.
7.What practices have I embraced this year? The practices I have embraced this year are cooking/baking, gratitude practice, EFT Technique, hydration, and personalized vitamins that are customized for my body in mind.
8.What peoplee, activities, media, and events have helped you get through 2020? In no particular order -- Gilnore Girls, Sex and the City, Veronica Vargas, Mike Semko, Dan Law, Michael Peelman, Craig Liggeons, J.C. Simonetti, FB Messenger, Spotify, Tasty.co, getting to ride in a Ford Mustang bare-assed, culinary adventures in my kitchen, the return of Nerd Herders Rebooted, Discord, Tabletop Simulator on Steam.
9.What mistakes have I learned from? Hmmm. I would have to say that the mistakes I have learned from would be the way I react to statements that sound like a personal dig, but in reality it is outward projection from the person saying it. Other mistakes I have learned from would be in concerns with my health -- learning what my body will tolerate and not tolerate, what vitamins I am deficient in, and figuring out what makes me feel the best.
10.What was my most challenging moment? Most challenging moment -- watching my father succumb to lung cancer. Watching my father who was so social, so full of life, so driven, so talkative basically become a shell of himself. It was hard to watch. It was also a challenge learning how to become a caregiver with the constant changes in his health regimen. I would also be remiss in saying that another challenging moment of this year was the pandemic. From being an extrovert with an Aries fiery spirit to basically be extinguished and be placed into isolation -- whoo boy did it take its toll. However I am one for challenges and I accept it and here I am now.
11.What was my most triumphant moment? Getting tenure as an educator during remote learning. I learned so many new tech skills and continue to learn. Another triumphant moment -- learning how to slow the fuck down and patience. While I have always been a patient person, to hone that skill even more so -- YES QUEEN.
12.What are you grateful for? I am grateful for the challenges that 2020 brought to me. It helped me to be stronger, to be more resilient. I am also grateful for learning how to enjoy my own company more. Grateful for the lessons of vulnerablity and openness and transparency. Grateful for the deepenning of relationships. Grateful for my home, my health, my laughter, my intelligence, my generous heart. Grateful to learning how to recover from codependency and self sabotage. Grateful for the many kicks in the ass from my dear friends when I was seemingly down and wouldn't speak. Grateful for learning how to build and create boundaries -- especially at work and in my relationships.
13. Scores yourself out of 10 in these categories:
Relationships: 7
Self Care: 5
Career: 10
Spirituality: 7

14.How can I bump up these numbers in 2021? How can I bump up these numbers -- DRINK MORE WATER for one. Get myself back into my weekly skincare facial routine. Plan in a sacred hour every day. Continue to practice gratitude and EFT. Continue to be more open and communciative and vulnerable.
15.What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Definitely looking forward to the ability to travel again. I miss my dear friends Eric and Ian up in Canada and I always have fun when I am around them. i am also looking forward to the return of events -- concerts, festivals, Broadway shows. Nothing says recharge like pounding beats in your ears. I am also looking forward to learning more/expanding my horizons. Lots of opportunities out there.
16.What aspects of yourself are you going to embrace in 2021? The aspects of myself that I am going to embrace in 2021 are my voice/my opinion, supportive people, curiousity/questioning skills, open communication, listening, vulnerability.
17.What are three words that you wish to embody in 2020? Abundance, love, recharge
18.What is one goal that excites me in 2021? Creating patio seating in my backyard with A Small Green Space
19.What do you need to do to finish 2020 on a high? Refresh my bedsheets and my hair. Self care. Eat some yummy food. Talk with/hang with loved ones. Laugh. Dance. Smile as much as possible.