Hindsight Is Most Certainly 2020 -- Yearly Reflection

Oh 2020....you have been one heck of a year. To say that this year is for the history books is a big understatement. Throught the power of a End of the Year journaling workshop with the one and only Gala Darling, let me reflect on this year as best as I can.

1. What are you most proud of this year? I am most proud of the way that I dealt with taking care of my father. It was a heavy ordeal with the constant changes of his health. However it showed me and taught me just how strong and resilient I can be when faced with challenges. I love a good challenge and will meet it head on and accept and conquer as best as I can.
2.How have you grown in 2020? How have I grown in 2020 -- by learning how to slow the fuck down, how to be more open and vulnerable with the ones that I love, creating boundaries, not going down or following a negative spiral (this does take some more work and lessons to learn however I am getting better at it), being more confident in my skin, learning that there is life outide of social media and not everything I see on social media is the be all end all truth, learning how to feel my feelings, and just returning to myself.
3.What happened this year that you responded completely differently to? What happened this year that I responded completely differently to is the way I navigate my relationships that has broken my codependent nature. While I still think of others, I respond now with "how will this help me? how will this spark my joy?" instead of people pleasing.
4.What pattern did you break? The pattern of codependency. Oh my goddess was I one codependent mess -- always relying on others for my happiness. Nope. No more. It feels goood.
5.What are your top 3 accomplishments? My top 3 accomplishments are getting tenure as an educator, being the caregiver for my father, and getting 6 figures in my savings account.
6.Which relationships have deepened this year? The relationships that have deepened this year are the relationship to myself, my best friends Veronica/Dan Law/Michael Peelman and the relationship with my boyfriend Mike Semko.
7.What practices have I embraced this year? The practices I have embraced this year are cooking/baking, gratitude practice, EFT Technique, hydration, and personalized vitamins that are customized for my body in mind.
8.What peoplee, activities, media, and events have helped you get through 2020? In no particular order -- Gilnore Girls, Sex and the City, Veronica Vargas, Mike Semko, Dan Law, Michael Peelman, Craig Liggeons, J.C. Simonetti, FB Messenger, Spotify, Tasty.co, getting to ride in a Ford Mustang bare-assed, culinary adventures in my kitchen, the return of Nerd Herders Rebooted, Discord, Tabletop Simulator on Steam.
9.What mistakes have I learned from? Hmmm. I would have to say that the mistakes I have learned from would be the way I react to statements that sound like a personal dig, but in reality it is outward projection from the person saying it. Other mistakes I have learned from would be in concerns with my health -- learning what my body will tolerate and not tolerate, what vitamins I am deficient in, and figuring out what makes me feel the best.
10.What was my most challenging moment? Most challenging moment -- watching my father succumb to lung cancer. Watching my father who was so social, so full of life, so driven, so talkative basically become a shell of himself. It was hard to watch. It was also a challenge learning how to become a caregiver with the constant changes in his health regimen. I would also be remiss in saying that another challenging moment of this year was the pandemic. From being an extrovert with an Aries fiery spirit to basically be extinguished and be placed into isolation -- whoo boy did it take its toll. However I am one for challenges and I accept it and here I am now.
11.What was my most triumphant moment? Getting tenure as an educator during remote learning. I learned so many new tech skills and continue to learn. Another triumphant moment -- learning how to slow the fuck down and patience. While I have always been a patient person, to hone that skill even more so -- YES QUEEN.
12.What are you grateful for? I am grateful for the challenges that 2020 brought to me. It helped me to be stronger, to be more resilient. I am also grateful for learning how to enjoy my own company more. Grateful for the lessons of vulnerablity and openness and transparency. Grateful for the deepenning of relationships. Grateful for my home, my health, my laughter, my intelligence, my generous heart. Grateful to learning how to recover from codependency and self sabotage. Grateful for the many kicks in the ass from my dear friends when I was seemingly down and wouldn't speak. Grateful for learning how to build and create boundaries -- especially at work and in my relationships.
13. Scores yourself out of 10 in these categories:
Relationships: 7
Self Care: 5
Career: 10
Spirituality: 7

14.How can I bump up these numbers in 2021? How can I bump up these numbers -- DRINK MORE WATER for one. Get myself back into my weekly skincare facial routine. Plan in a sacred hour every day. Continue to practice gratitude and EFT. Continue to be more open and communciative and vulnerable.
15.What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Definitely looking forward to the ability to travel again. I miss my dear friends Eric and Ian up in Canada and I always have fun when I am around them. i am also looking forward to the return of events -- concerts, festivals, Broadway shows. Nothing says recharge like pounding beats in your ears. I am also looking forward to learning more/expanding my horizons. Lots of opportunities out there.
16.What aspects of yourself are you going to embrace in 2021? The aspects of myself that I am going to embrace in 2021 are my voice/my opinion, supportive people, curiousity/questioning skills, open communication, listening, vulnerability.
17.What are three words that you wish to embody in 2020? Abundance, love, recharge
18.What is one goal that excites me in 2021? Creating patio seating in my backyard with A Small Green Space
19.What do you need to do to finish 2020 on a high? Refresh my bedsheets and my hair. Self care. Eat some yummy food. Talk with/hang with loved ones. Laugh. Dance. Smile as much as possible.

Countdown to Christmas -- 2020 Edition

Besides Halloween, I will admit I still get excited for Christmas time. Things just seem to be more magical in the month of December. Luckily enough last December, while hard, I was smiling and happy and I think it is because of this checklist as well as keeping myself surrounded with love and light as much as possible. Definitely glad I changed the pattern of unhappy holiday seasons. However some sadness has returned due to the pandemic and the death of my father. I will make it through the best way I can. Most of the things will be done either by myself or with my boyfriend Mike, or with friends and family. Also, just because there is a date attached does not mean it will happen on that date -- it is more of a checklist.

November 27th: Get holiday cards Done!
November 28th: Start writing out holiday cards Done!
November 29th: Start reading the book The Afterlife of Holly Chase by Cynthia Hand. Finish it by Christmas Eh. Will not be part of my tradition list next year.
November 30th: Watch Die Hard Done!
December 1st: Order 2021 calendars on Amazon Done!
December 2nd: Watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
December 3rd: Mail out holiday cards. Done!
December 4th: Get a holiday inspired manicure. Make sure one nail is sparkly! Done!
December 5th: Watch Scrooged
December 6th: Read one story in the collection My True Love Gave To Me Done! Read the story "It’s a Yuletide Miracle, Charlie Brown” by Stephanie Perkins.
December 7th: Make and decorate gingerbread cookies Done! They were so yummy!
December 8th: Watch He-Man & She-Ra A Christmas Special
December 9th: Get a holiday inspired candle from Bath and Body Works. Done!
December 10th: Wear my funkiest pair of leg warmers (or treat myself to a new pair) Done! Got another pair of Pudus fuzzy slipper socks.
December 11th: Watch Nailed It! Holiday Edition on Netflix Done!
December 12th: Make a holiday playlist on Spotify and share it with all my friends on social media for them to enjoy listening to Done!
December 13th: Watch Holidate on Netflix Done!
December 14th: Watch Home Alone
December 15th: Watch The Christmas Chronicles on Netflix
December 16th: Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas Done!
December 17th: Wear rhinestone reindeer antlers during my Zoom lessons. Done!
December 18th: Leave a card/gift for my mail delivery person and/or garbage person who is working extra hard this time of yearDone!
December 19th: Watch the movie Tangerine Done.
December 20th: Watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Done!
December 21sr: Watch Gremlins.
December 22nd: Watch Anna and the Apocalypse
December 23rd: Watch Mr Bean's Holiday
December 24th: Spend the day with my boyfriend being all beautiful and magical. Catch up on Christmas movies not watched yet on this list
December 25th: CHRISTMAS!!! Watch all of the Gilmore Girls Christmas episodes and spend time with my loved ones.

Countdown to Halloween -- 2020 Edition

My favorite holiday, besides my birthday, is Halloween. I am drawn to all things Halloween/Autumn -- vampires, zombies, werewolves, cheesy 80s horror movies, dressing up, anything pumpkin flavored or scented, sweater weather... Just love it! With that said I thought it would be cool to do a COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN activities list. Most of this stuff will be done by myself or with friends and family. Some of these things will need to be edited for social distancing. Yes I know there are dates attached but I am using it more as a check off list.

October 1st: Watch the movie The Lost Boys Done!
October 2nd: Watch the movie Nightmare on Elm Street (original with Robert Englund)
October 3rd: Watch the movie Hotel Transylvania.
October 4th: Read a short story in Bazaar of Bad Dreams by Stephen King Done! Read the story Batman and Robin Have an Altercation
October 5th: Go to a haunted house.
October 6th: Watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
October 7th: Watch the cartoon Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
October 8th: Read 2 tales in Toil and Trouble. (Currenly reading Starsong by Tehlor Kay Mejia and Afterbirth by Andrea Cremer
October 9th: Watch the movie Hellraiser
October 10th: Watch the movie House of 1000 Corpses.
October 11th: Watch the movie Psycho (original Alfred Hitchcock version).
October 12th: Watch the Universal classic horror movies Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein.
October 13th: Go Halloween home decor shopping -- either at Target or At Home. Done!
October 14th: Get candles with a cinnamon or pumpkin smell from Bath and Body Works for my room. Done!
October 15th: Make my own Pumpkin Spice Chai Latte at home
October 16th: Watch the movie Beetlejuice
October 17th: Watch the movie Interview with The Vampire
October 18th: Watch the movie Hocus Pocus.
October 19th: Watch the Netflix series Marianne
October 20th: Watch the movie Carrie (the original version with Sissy Spasek)
October 21st: Watch the movie The Evil Dead
October 22nd: Watch the movie The Craft
October 23rd: Build a haunted gingerbread house
October 24th: Get a pumpkin for my house at Union Square Market
October 25th: Happy Birthday Veronica!
October 26th: Watch Tales of Halloween (Netflix)
October 27th: Watch the movie Coraline (Netflix)
October 28th: Watch the movie Teen Witch
October 29th: Get a fall inspired color manicure.
October 30th:
October 31st: HALLOWEEN!! Watch The Shining and do spell in the Daily Spellbook for The Good Witch book.

Day One -- Book Review Blog Challenge -- Dreams And Ambitions

And away we go. Lets do this! For day one in the blog challenge from Great New Reads which is a book about dreams and ambitions I immediately went to my personal development/self improvement book section of my bookshelf since they are all about living your best life and being your utmost beautiful badass self. The book that I was drawn to tell you about is a book from a woman who I have followed for over 10 years, who I have met on numerous occasions, who started out as fashion blogger and grew into the radical self love guru that I love today and continue to learn from. Thats right - I am going with the one and the only Gala Darling and her book Radical Self Love: A guide to Loving Yourself and Living Your Dreams.

Here are some words about this book from the one and only Gabrielle Bernsten, author of Miracles Now: "Have you ever dreamed of a life full of laughter, love and sequins... But felt totally clueless about how to make it happen? You're not alone. I spent years in soul-sucking jobs, battling depression, an eating disorder, and a preference for chaos and disaster, simply because I didn't know how to create the life I dreamed about. In RADICAL SELF LOVE, you'll begin to discover exactly what makes you so magnificent, and you'll uncover a litany of tools and techniques to help you manifest a life that bursts with magic, bliss and adventure. When you love yourself, life is limitless. You can do anything you want. It's time to throw off the shackles of expectation, and start living from your heart. It's time to astound yourself with how beautiful your life can be. It's time to treat every single day like a celebration... Cake, candles and confetti very much included! "Radical Self Love should be on every woman's bookshelf. Gala Darling is the fresh voice of a new generation, encouraging us to love ourselves and rediscover the most magical facets of who we are. This book will crack you open to the presence of your authentic power."

I've followed her blog as well as when she made Radical Self Love Coven, Love and Sequins, RSL Bootcamp, and now her books and her membership program known as The Vortex. She is one of the pillars of my continued radical self love journey and I have watched her whole evolution. If you're a woman having a hard time loving yourself just as you are, read this book. It's fun, funky, honest and frank and it can really help you fall back in love with yourself. Now some people might find her work a little "woo-woo" and that is okay. From discussions of EFT tapping and astrology and journaling -- this book will help people become a brighter, sparklier and more conscious version of themselves.

Day 0 Book Review Blog Challenge -- Great New Reads

It has been a hot minute since I reviewed books as well as took part in a challenge. Considering this quarantine (Day 34 for me!) I have all of the time to read! I have joined the Great New Reads #BookReviewBlogChallenge to pump myself up as well as join some more communities. Found this through Girlboss Community. Plus there are prizes! Who could say no to prizes? With all of that being said -- lets get this party started!

Day 0 has the prompt of to post a picture of a book that sparks joy. There are so many possibilities of a book that sparks joy but the one that comes to mind is...

Now I bet you are all wondering why I chose this book? The bonds between friends as well as one of my favorite restaurants in New York City has this theme. This book has always been my solace, my peace, my sense of spark and adventure, my sense of whimsy and perkiness. Plus sometimes you just need a good book that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever as well as fantasy.

DaniMania 42 -- The Quarantine Edition

If you are a regular reader of my blog (which I know I have not really updated but life happens) you know I do this thing known as DaniMania where I make up a list of things that either I enjoy, want to see, want to get, want to do that add up to my age. This year I turn 42 years old. I have done this for the past 5 years. I would celebrate DaniMania all of March but something this year just did not feel right with that. At the beginning of March, it is Pisces season. Well it is Pisces season from February 21st all the way to March 21st. Well I do not have any Pisces in my astrological chart so I felt it was wrong for me to celebrate my birth during that time. So this year I decided to start DaniMania 42 on March 21st. I wrote out my list, actually shopped for some of the items before March 21st so I knew that they would arrive during Aries season. I was figuring out when to go to the places I put on my list...and then.....

PHYSICAL DISTANCING HAPPENED. QUARANTINE HAPPENED. COVID-19 HAPPENED. SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED NOW SO YOU WILL WORK FROM HOME HAPPENED.

So here I am, on day 15 of quarantine. I have not left my house except for a walk to my corner fruit stand. I have not seen Mike nor any of my friends physically. Texting/video chat has been my "social" as well as social media. And surprisingly enough, I am calm and cool and collected with this as well as accepted it and am making due.

Now I know what you are saying to yourself -- DANI YOU ARE AN EXTROVERT. YOU LIKE TO GO OUT. YOU LIKE TO EXPLORE. YOU LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE. WHAT THE HECK? But lets look at the grander picture -- I am writing again. I am being creative again. I am making connections that are filled with depth and meaning. I am truly appreciating and filled with gratitude of all of the things I have in my house. Thats like this one meme I have seen that said "Okay but honestly -- how privileged are we that during a global pandemic we can just stay warm at home reading, working, still being educated, creating, with little worries and a fridge stocked with food? Do remind yourself to be grateful today." That is the lesson I feel the Universe has bestowed upon me during DaniMania 42. Slow down. Have gratitude. Spend time with the things and activities that bring you joy. Become my own lover. Being my own creative muse. Realize that feeling good is the only goal. Yes it is good to desire what you want and to realize that you are worthy of it and so much more.

I have had friends surprise me with things on my Amazon wish list that I completely forgot about. I also have received some of the things on my list and yeah when we are told that it is safe to go out again, you damn skippy I am going to go to the places I put. It also has taught me a lesson in humility -- that the status quo is now over and I get to design the life of my dreams. What is stopping me from doing so? Certainly nothing now.

With that being said, I am going to go enjoy my birthday pineapple pizza and red velvet cookies I made for myself and smile. Happy Birthday to Me as I turned the age that is truly the meaning of life.