DaniMania 40 and It's Running Wild!

Yes, it is true. Today is my birthday and I am turning 40… Too Sweet Woop Woop! I know what you’re thinking, “I can’t believe she is going to be 40. She sure doesn't look 40. She can pass for a 25 year old! She is freakishly smart, witty, flat-out adorable, courageous and she is living her best life.” But it’s true. Some people hide their age, but I like to think of it as my DaniMania 40. To be honest it doesn't feel real at all. Forty has always seemed so far away, so grown up...so old! Yet here I am saying farewell to my thirties. And while it feels big, I have decided to embrace it and welcome a midlife with open arms. I have no idea what the future will bring but the past 3 years have been full of growth and SO MANY lessons learned. Here are 40 things that I learned and know --

1. Well for one thing -- I have made it to 40 years old! Had 4 major surgeries (3 reconstructive ankle surgeries, 1 gall bladder removal). Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 6 years ago and currently in remission. That shit ain't got nothing on me. Life for a while kept on handing me lemons -- so I lived by the cliche of making lemonade; even though I can not drink it.

2. I learned that I am not in competition with anyone but myself. Yeah sometimes it can be easy to compare yourself to others. I like to call it the compare and despair game. Facebook pages showing all the delightful moments your friends are having. Romantic comedies portraying what being in love should look like. Feeling like your life would be perfect if you just had that house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a Siberian Husky. But now I’ve come to realize… everyone has their own crap they’re dealing with and I don’t have to be anywhere in my life other than where I am right now. I am in control of my life. Stop comparing myself to others. Serves me no good.

3. I don't feel guilty anymore about letting toxicity and negativity go. I used to be a paranoid, insecure, codependent due to past relationships. I do have some slips but after taking the time to dig deep into my roots and learning the ways of radical self love -- I understand it’s not the quantity of the relationships in my life, it’s the quality. I have learned to eliminate those in my life who don’t bring me happiness and who do not serve my most good.

4. I try my best to realize that I am not in control of everything and I do not waste time on the things that I can not change.

5. A good night sleep and drinking lots of water is better than botox. Take care of myself. Self-care is not self-ish; it’s necessary. Only when I take care of me am I truly able to care for others.

6. I am WAY stronger than I ever knew.

7. Life is just way too short for chaos and drama. Count my blessings and practice gratitude often.

8. I know who my true friends are. At 40, that fuzzy line that existed in your 20s and 30s between ‘friends’ and ‘acquaintances’ can be drawn with laser precision. By now, I have weeded out the fair weather friends, the posers and the double crossers. And, truthfully, I have probably been weeded out too. (By those who couldn’t handle my sheer awesomeness, of course!). At 40 I finally understand that it is perfectly normal to have a social circle of which only a handful are my true peeps. Sometimes I do have my moments of "I have no friends!" and no Facebook does not count but there’s comfort in finally understanding who my true friends are. True friends don’t care if I have had a bad day, if I have been incognito for months (which NEVER happens), or if I look like a hot mess. They are the ones who like me just the way I am, no matter how imperfect I may be.

9. I don't have time to worry about who doesn't like me. I am too busy loving the people who love me. I no longer need the acceptance, validation, or approval from others to feel good about myself. I no longer feel that I have to be someone I am not. I am me -- and if you don't like me, well that is your problem.

10. Three very important words -- LET IT GO.

11. I got to unplug from social media every once in a while. It will always be there and can wait but moments and adventures will not be as well as will not wait. Get out there and enjoy life!

12. I learned and embraced how to say “NO.” I need to protect my time so that I have time for what, and who, really matters — including ME.

13.I learned and embraced how to say “YES!” to what will feed my soul. Say yes to the things that will bring me joy.

14. Money doesn’t buy happiness; even though people will say it does. Research has suggested that once one’s income climbs above the poverty level, more money results in very little extra happiness. “Happiness is a place between too little and too much” (Finnish proverb). Put my focus on relationships and experiences over stuff.

15. I must accept and embrace change. Believe me, I sure did want to but the way I was going about things did not work and I needed a change.

16. Be okay with OKAY. Stop chasing perfection. I am sure as heck not perfect and those that expect me to be -- look at #3 and #8.

17. I create and manifest my own luck — by working hard; believing in myself; surrounding myself with positive, supportive people; and having the right attitude. It works.

18. I do not have to have a plan for everything -- another bitter pill to swallow. Most times the best things in life are serendipitous.

19. NYC, Paris, New Orleans, having wanderlust -- always great ideas.

20. Find the time to read all of the books! Having a cup of tea helps with this!

21. Failure is a blessing because when I fail that is when I will learn best.

22. Find the beauty in everything around me. It’s always there.

23. Even though I have RA and will hurt afterward -- Push my personal limits and try something crazy that I would never otherwise do, like walking across the Brooklyn Bridge or walk close to 2 miles in NYC while snowing in December. I will glow with victory!

24. Smile. It works wonders for my mood.

25. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME. STOP TAKING THINGS SO DAMN PERSONALLY. In caps for emphasis as this was and will continue to be a big lesson.

26. Nothing happens by accident and nothing is an coincidence.

27. Wearing my heart on my sleeve is stylish and is a true testament to who I am.

28. Having impromptu solo dance parties wherever I am is worth all the stares.

29. My strengths and passions are meant to be shared.

30. Everything I need to be happy is within me, not outside of me. It is no one's job to control my happiness. It is mine.

31. When I don’t get what I want now, it always makes sense why later.

32. It’s always better to bring others up than to drag them down. More people should learn this.

33. I must constantly craft actionable goals inspired by my strengths, passions, and purpose in order to evolve and thrive.

34. I can transform how I feel about and react to anything and anyone by being aware of my thoughts and intentionally challenging and changing them. Also pink salt goes a long way too.

35. Occasionally venting frustrations creates relief, regularly complaining about frustrations creates more frustrations and that does not feel good; which is priority #1.

36. My words really do create my world — both the ones I speak out loud to others and the ones I say internally to myself.

37. I can never be happy all of the time, but I can be happy a lot of the time if I decide to be.

38. Do not measure myself by age. It is just a number after all.

39. Be KIND. It matters.

40. Life is truly beautiful.

BRING IT ON 40!