DaniMania 40 and It's Running Wild!

Yes, it is true. Today is my birthday and I am turning 40… Too Sweet Woop Woop! I know what you’re thinking, “I can’t believe she is going to be 40. She sure doesn't look 40. She can pass for a 25 year old! She is freakishly smart, witty, flat-out adorable, courageous and she is living her best life.” But it’s true. Some people hide their age, but I like to think of it as my DaniMania 40. To be honest it doesn't feel real at all. Forty has always seemed so far away, so grown up...so old! Yet here I am saying farewell to my thirties. And while it feels big, I have decided to embrace it and welcome a midlife with open arms. I have no idea what the future will bring but the past 3 years have been full of growth and SO MANY lessons learned. Here are 40 things that I learned and know --

1. Well for one thing -- I have made it to 40 years old! Had 4 major surgeries (3 reconstructive ankle surgeries, 1 gall bladder removal). Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 6 years ago and currently in remission. That shit ain't got nothing on me. Life for a while kept on handing me lemons -- so I lived by the cliche of making lemonade; even though I can not drink it.

2. I learned that I am not in competition with anyone but myself. Yeah sometimes it can be easy to compare yourself to others. I like to call it the compare and despair game. Facebook pages showing all the delightful moments your friends are having. Romantic comedies portraying what being in love should look like. Feeling like your life would be perfect if you just had that house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a Siberian Husky. But now I’ve come to realize… everyone has their own crap they’re dealing with and I don’t have to be anywhere in my life other than where I am right now. I am in control of my life. Stop comparing myself to others. Serves me no good.

3. I don't feel guilty anymore about letting toxicity and negativity go. I used to be a paranoid, insecure, codependent due to past relationships. I do have some slips but after taking the time to dig deep into my roots and learning the ways of radical self love -- I understand it’s not the quantity of the relationships in my life, it’s the quality. I have learned to eliminate those in my life who don’t bring me happiness and who do not serve my most good.

4. I try my best to realize that I am not in control of everything and I do not waste time on the things that I can not change.

5. A good night sleep and drinking lots of water is better than botox. Take care of myself. Self-care is not self-ish; it’s necessary. Only when I take care of me am I truly able to care for others.

6. I am WAY stronger than I ever knew.

7. Life is just way too short for chaos and drama. Count my blessings and practice gratitude often.

8. I know who my true friends are. At 40, that fuzzy line that existed in your 20s and 30s between ‘friends’ and ‘acquaintances’ can be drawn with laser precision. By now, I have weeded out the fair weather friends, the posers and the double crossers. And, truthfully, I have probably been weeded out too. (By those who couldn’t handle my sheer awesomeness, of course!). At 40 I finally understand that it is perfectly normal to have a social circle of which only a handful are my true peeps. Sometimes I do have my moments of "I have no friends!" and no Facebook does not count but there’s comfort in finally understanding who my true friends are. True friends don’t care if I have had a bad day, if I have been incognito for months (which NEVER happens), or if I look like a hot mess. They are the ones who like me just the way I am, no matter how imperfect I may be.

9. I don't have time to worry about who doesn't like me. I am too busy loving the people who love me. I no longer need the acceptance, validation, or approval from others to feel good about myself. I no longer feel that I have to be someone I am not. I am me -- and if you don't like me, well that is your problem.

10. Three very important words -- LET IT GO.

11. I got to unplug from social media every once in a while. It will always be there and can wait but moments and adventures will not be as well as will not wait. Get out there and enjoy life!

12. I learned and embraced how to say “NO.” I need to protect my time so that I have time for what, and who, really matters — including ME.

13.I learned and embraced how to say “YES!” to what will feed my soul. Say yes to the things that will bring me joy.

14. Money doesn’t buy happiness; even though people will say it does. Research has suggested that once one’s income climbs above the poverty level, more money results in very little extra happiness. “Happiness is a place between too little and too much” (Finnish proverb). Put my focus on relationships and experiences over stuff.

15. I must accept and embrace change. Believe me, I sure did want to but the way I was going about things did not work and I needed a change.

16. Be okay with OKAY. Stop chasing perfection. I am sure as heck not perfect and those that expect me to be -- look at #3 and #8.

17. I create and manifest my own luck — by working hard; believing in myself; surrounding myself with positive, supportive people; and having the right attitude. It works.

18. I do not have to have a plan for everything -- another bitter pill to swallow. Most times the best things in life are serendipitous.

19. NYC, Paris, New Orleans, having wanderlust -- always great ideas.

20. Find the time to read all of the books! Having a cup of tea helps with this!

21. Failure is a blessing because when I fail that is when I will learn best.

22. Find the beauty in everything around me. It’s always there.

23. Even though I have RA and will hurt afterward -- Push my personal limits and try something crazy that I would never otherwise do, like walking across the Brooklyn Bridge or walk close to 2 miles in NYC while snowing in December. I will glow with victory!

24. Smile. It works wonders for my mood.

25. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME. STOP TAKING THINGS SO DAMN PERSONALLY. In caps for emphasis as this was and will continue to be a big lesson.

26. Nothing happens by accident and nothing is an coincidence.

27. Wearing my heart on my sleeve is stylish and is a true testament to who I am.

28. Having impromptu solo dance parties wherever I am is worth all the stares.

29. My strengths and passions are meant to be shared.

30. Everything I need to be happy is within me, not outside of me. It is no one's job to control my happiness. It is mine.

31. When I don’t get what I want now, it always makes sense why later.

32. It’s always better to bring others up than to drag them down. More people should learn this.

33. I must constantly craft actionable goals inspired by my strengths, passions, and purpose in order to evolve and thrive.

34. I can transform how I feel about and react to anything and anyone by being aware of my thoughts and intentionally challenging and changing them. Also pink salt goes a long way too.

35. Occasionally venting frustrations creates relief, regularly complaining about frustrations creates more frustrations and that does not feel good; which is priority #1.

36. My words really do create my world — both the ones I speak out loud to others and the ones I say internally to myself.

37. I can never be happy all of the time, but I can be happy a lot of the time if I decide to be.

38. Do not measure myself by age. It is just a number after all.

39. Be KIND. It matters.

40. Life is truly beautiful.

BRING IT ON 40!

Book Review -- Real in Memphis by Stevie Pearson

As most people know as it is not a secret -- I am a diehard professional wrestling fan. I can recall times my brother and I would be camped out in the living room waiting for Saturday Nights Main Event; only for me to fall asleep as soon as the theme song is over. I remember my first live show (August 24,1990 NWA World Championship Wrestling in East Rutherford, NJ before the WWF placed a no competition order on the venue). I remember my first autograph being Jim Ross and I was the only one he stopped for. Even back then I had the Queen of Small Talk powers. One of my first crushes was Sting. The sass of Sherri Martel was an inspiration and influence in my personality today. And who could forget to chew bubblegum and kick ass?

As you can see -- I can go on and on with wrestling stories. How professional wrestling shaped who I am today. So when I was contacted on Twitter to review a book; another one of my passions; dealing with professional wrestling -- how could I say no?

The book is Real in Memphis by Stevie Pearson

and is set in 1979 in Memphis Tennessee and has ten different parts interwoven throughout. I will not go through all ten parts; only the ones I feel were the main plots which leads me to the main plot of the book- Sam South, is the son of second generation star Bull South, and he wants to make it big on the professional wrestling circuit; all to win his estranged father's respect. Sadly, like most independent wrestling federations, the promoter Harvey Wallbanger doesn't see him as a top star. But through an audio recording of Harvey's shadier business practices, Sam might just get the chance to prove himself after all.

Then you have the saga of Harvey Wallbanger who has his own problems micro-managing his talent. Another saga -- Former wrestler turned Church Pastor Bull South, who Co-owns the territory, has turned to religion. The main problem in this story is that now he and Harvey are at odds with one another. As you go through this saga you develop this hope that he and his aide-de-camp, also former love interest, Vixen Vegas can amend any and all problems that the lord might cause for the territory.

Now lets add in the underdog, or the babyface saga to this mix as you will with 'The Golden Wonder' Rod Golden. He unfornuately is on the verge of losing his world title, and in turn a whole load of money. That’s something that his tearaway daughter and avaricious wife aren't going to be too happy about.

Got to have the wrestler that everyone wants to see kind of saga right? Enter 'The Chattanooga Nightmare' Hex Clearfield. He is one of the few remaining free agents in wrestling. His services are well sought after. Sadly, his bodacious attitude and lust for women might be more than the Memphis faithful, and the Fearsome Monroeville Mauler are willing to handle.

All of this unfolds and brings together Hex and his promoter, Milton Morton, who may have their work cut out for them in the cut throat territory of Memphis Tennessee.

One way or another, everyone in this book is finding out that wrestling might be 'Fake', but business is about to get Real in Memphis.

As a avid bookworm who can read 5 books at the same time in a month -- for me to push what I was reading off to the side to make time for this book says tons. After spending close to two days hooked into the story I felt unable to put it down.

The various viewpoints were interwoven beautifully and seamlessly. Definitely unpredictable, which is something I look for in a book, and kept me thinking even after I finished the book. I do not say this often as I feel authors are stuck into making everything a series when a stand alone book is just as good but with the style of writing that Pearson has as well as details and the cliffhanger type ending -- I would not be opposed to seeing a series grow from this.

What also drew me into this book was how I could relate to the characters; even though I never stepped through the ropes and only had my elbows on a ring apron for photography. There was so much human nature in this book, especially with how everyone is manipulating one another for the few paying jobs in wrestling in Memphis (hello backstage politics!) and although they seem like extreme and violent people, at heart they are all just regular people with regular interests.

There isn't an abundance of wrestling fiction books published (but if you want a modern fairy tale retelling....) and this book is as such something of an anomaly it seems, as while it is clearly written with a love and appreciation of professional wrestling -- it isn’t just some wrestling book. It has many layers of deep complex thoughts throughout and the stories, while set in the world of wrestling, the stories feel like they could happen anywhere in any industry and at any place.

I found Real in Memphis to be a strong story with so many twists and turns that are not obvious like you see in other books. I would definitely recommend this book for a truly remarkable experience. It is available digitally through wrestlingnoir.com and for purchase through Amazon UK.