If you are a regular reader of my blog (which I know I have not really updated but life happens) you know I do this thing known as DaniMania where I make up a list of things that either I enjoy, want to see, want to get, want to do that add up to my age. This year I turn 42 years old. I have done this for the past 5 years. I would celebrate DaniMania all of March but something this year just did not feel right with that. At the beginning of March, it is Pisces season. Well it is Pisces season from February 21st all the way to March 21st. Well I do not have any Pisces in my astrological chart so I felt it was wrong for me to celebrate my birth during that time. So this year I decided to start DaniMania 42 on March 21st. I wrote out my list, actually shopped for some of the items before March 21st so I knew that they would arrive during Aries season. I was figuring out when to go to the places I put on my list...and then.....
PHYSICAL DISTANCING HAPPENED. QUARANTINE HAPPENED. COVID-19 HAPPENED. SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED NOW SO YOU WILL WORK FROM HOME HAPPENED.
So here I am, on day 15 of quarantine. I have not left my house except for a walk to my corner fruit stand. I have not seen Mike nor any of my friends physically. Texting/video chat has been my "social" as well as social media. And surprisingly enough, I am calm and cool and collected with this as well as accepted it and am making due.
Now I know what you are saying to yourself -- DANI YOU ARE AN EXTROVERT. YOU LIKE TO GO OUT. YOU LIKE TO EXPLORE. YOU LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE. WHAT THE HECK? But lets look at the grander picture -- I am writing again. I am being creative again. I am making connections that are filled with depth and meaning. I am truly appreciating and filled with gratitude of all of the things I have in my house. Thats like this one meme I have seen that said "Okay but honestly -- how privileged are we that during a global pandemic we can just stay warm at home reading, working, still being educated, creating, with little worries and a fridge stocked with food? Do remind yourself to be grateful today." That is the lesson I feel the Universe has bestowed upon me during DaniMania 42. Slow down. Have gratitude. Spend time with the things and activities that bring you joy. Become my own lover. Being my own creative muse. Realize that feeling good is the only goal. Yes it is good to desire what you want and to realize that you are worthy of it and so much more.
I have had friends surprise me with things on my Amazon wish list that I completely forgot about. I also have received some of the things on my list and yeah when we are told that it is safe to go out again, you damn skippy I am going to go to the places I put. It also has taught me a lesson in humility -- that the status quo is now over and I get to design the life of my dreams. What is stopping me from doing so? Certainly nothing now.
With that being said, I am going to go enjoy my birthday pineapple pizza and red velvet cookies I made for myself and smile. Happy Birthday to Me as I turned the age that is truly the meaning of life.
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Sunday, March 29, 2020
Thursday, March 29, 2018
DaniMania 40 and It's Running Wild!
Yes, it is true. Today is my birthday and I am turning 40… Too Sweet Woop Woop! I know what you’re thinking, “I can’t believe she is going to be 40. She sure doesn't look 40. She can pass for a 25 year old! She is freakishly smart, witty, flat-out adorable, courageous and she is living her best life.” But it’s true. Some people hide their age, but I like to think of it as my DaniMania 40. To be honest it doesn't feel real at all. Forty has always seemed so far away, so grown up...so old! Yet here I am saying farewell to my thirties. And while it feels big, I have decided to embrace it and welcome a midlife with open arms. I have no idea what the future will bring but the past 3 years have been full of growth and SO MANY lessons learned. Here are 40 things that I learned and know --
1. Well for one thing -- I have made it to 40 years old! Had 4 major surgeries (3 reconstructive ankle surgeries, 1 gall bladder removal). Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 6 years ago and currently in remission. That shit ain't got nothing on me. Life for a while kept on handing me lemons -- so I lived by the cliche of making lemonade; even though I can not drink it.
2. I learned that I am not in competition with anyone but myself. Yeah sometimes it can be easy to compare yourself to others. I like to call it the compare and despair game. Facebook pages showing all the delightful moments your friends are having. Romantic comedies portraying what being in love should look like. Feeling like your life would be perfect if you just had that house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a Siberian Husky. But now I’ve come to realize… everyone has their own crap they’re dealing with and I don’t have to be anywhere in my life other than where I am right now. I am in control of my life. Stop comparing myself to others. Serves me no good.
3. I don't feel guilty anymore about letting toxicity and negativity go. I used to be a paranoid, insecure, codependent due to past relationships. I do have some slips but after taking the time to dig deep into my roots and learning the ways of radical self love -- I understand it’s not the quantity of the relationships in my life, it’s the quality. I have learned to eliminate those in my life who don’t bring me happiness and who do not serve my most good.
4. I try my best to realize that I am not in control of everything and I do not waste time on the things that I can not change.
5. A good night sleep and drinking lots of water is better than botox. Take care of myself. Self-care is not self-ish; it’s necessary. Only when I take care of me am I truly able to care for others.
6. I am WAY stronger than I ever knew.
7. Life is just way too short for chaos and drama. Count my blessings and practice gratitude often.
8. I know who my true friends are. At 40, that fuzzy line that existed in your 20s and 30s between ‘friends’ and ‘acquaintances’ can be drawn with laser precision. By now, I have weeded out the fair weather friends, the posers and the double crossers. And, truthfully, I have probably been weeded out too. (By those who couldn’t handle my sheer awesomeness, of course!). At 40 I finally understand that it is perfectly normal to have a social circle of which only a handful are my true peeps. Sometimes I do have my moments of "I have no friends!" and no Facebook does not count but there’s comfort in finally understanding who my true friends are. True friends don’t care if I have had a bad day, if I have been incognito for months (which NEVER happens), or if I look like a hot mess. They are the ones who like me just the way I am, no matter how imperfect I may be.
9. I don't have time to worry about who doesn't like me. I am too busy loving the people who love me. I no longer need the acceptance, validation, or approval from others to feel good about myself. I no longer feel that I have to be someone I am not. I am me -- and if you don't like me, well that is your problem.
10. Three very important words -- LET IT GO.
11. I got to unplug from social media every once in a while. It will always be there and can wait but moments and adventures will not be as well as will not wait. Get out there and enjoy life!
12. I learned and embraced how to say “NO.” I need to protect my time so that I have time for what, and who, really matters — including ME.
13.I learned and embraced how to say “YES!” to what will feed my soul. Say yes to the things that will bring me joy.
14. Money doesn’t buy happiness; even though people will say it does. Research has suggested that once one’s income climbs above the poverty level, more money results in very little extra happiness. “Happiness is a place between too little and too much” (Finnish proverb). Put my focus on relationships and experiences over stuff.
15. I must accept and embrace change. Believe me, I sure did want to but the way I was going about things did not work and I needed a change.
16. Be okay with OKAY. Stop chasing perfection. I am sure as heck not perfect and those that expect me to be -- look at #3 and #8.
17. I create and manifest my own luck — by working hard; believing in myself; surrounding myself with positive, supportive people; and having the right attitude. It works.
18. I do not have to have a plan for everything -- another bitter pill to swallow. Most times the best things in life are serendipitous.
19. NYC, Paris, New Orleans, having wanderlust -- always great ideas.
20. Find the time to read all of the books! Having a cup of tea helps with this!
21. Failure is a blessing because when I fail that is when I will learn best.
22. Find the beauty in everything around me. It’s always there.
23. Even though I have RA and will hurt afterward -- Push my personal limits and try something crazy that I would never otherwise do, like walking across the Brooklyn Bridge or walk close to 2 miles in NYC while snowing in December. I will glow with victory!
24. Smile. It works wonders for my mood.
25. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME. STOP TAKING THINGS SO DAMN PERSONALLY. In caps for emphasis as this was and will continue to be a big lesson.
26. Nothing happens by accident and nothing is an coincidence.
27. Wearing my heart on my sleeve is stylish and is a true testament to who I am.
28. Having impromptu solo dance parties wherever I am is worth all the stares.
29. My strengths and passions are meant to be shared.
30. Everything I need to be happy is within me, not outside of me. It is no one's job to control my happiness. It is mine.
31. When I don’t get what I want now, it always makes sense why later.
32. It’s always better to bring others up than to drag them down. More people should learn this.
33. I must constantly craft actionable goals inspired by my strengths, passions, and purpose in order to evolve and thrive.
34. I can transform how I feel about and react to anything and anyone by being aware of my thoughts and intentionally challenging and changing them. Also pink salt goes a long way too.
35. Occasionally venting frustrations creates relief, regularly complaining about frustrations creates more frustrations and that does not feel good; which is priority #1.
36. My words really do create my world — both the ones I speak out loud to others and the ones I say internally to myself.
37. I can never be happy all of the time, but I can be happy a lot of the time if I decide to be.
38. Do not measure myself by age. It is just a number after all.
39. Be KIND. It matters.
40. Life is truly beautiful.
BRING IT ON 40!
1. Well for one thing -- I have made it to 40 years old! Had 4 major surgeries (3 reconstructive ankle surgeries, 1 gall bladder removal). Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 6 years ago and currently in remission. That shit ain't got nothing on me. Life for a while kept on handing me lemons -- so I lived by the cliche of making lemonade; even though I can not drink it.
2. I learned that I am not in competition with anyone but myself. Yeah sometimes it can be easy to compare yourself to others. I like to call it the compare and despair game. Facebook pages showing all the delightful moments your friends are having. Romantic comedies portraying what being in love should look like. Feeling like your life would be perfect if you just had that house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a Siberian Husky. But now I’ve come to realize… everyone has their own crap they’re dealing with and I don’t have to be anywhere in my life other than where I am right now. I am in control of my life. Stop comparing myself to others. Serves me no good.
3. I don't feel guilty anymore about letting toxicity and negativity go. I used to be a paranoid, insecure, codependent due to past relationships. I do have some slips but after taking the time to dig deep into my roots and learning the ways of radical self love -- I understand it’s not the quantity of the relationships in my life, it’s the quality. I have learned to eliminate those in my life who don’t bring me happiness and who do not serve my most good.
4. I try my best to realize that I am not in control of everything and I do not waste time on the things that I can not change.
5. A good night sleep and drinking lots of water is better than botox. Take care of myself. Self-care is not self-ish; it’s necessary. Only when I take care of me am I truly able to care for others.
6. I am WAY stronger than I ever knew.
7. Life is just way too short for chaos and drama. Count my blessings and practice gratitude often.
8. I know who my true friends are. At 40, that fuzzy line that existed in your 20s and 30s between ‘friends’ and ‘acquaintances’ can be drawn with laser precision. By now, I have weeded out the fair weather friends, the posers and the double crossers. And, truthfully, I have probably been weeded out too. (By those who couldn’t handle my sheer awesomeness, of course!). At 40 I finally understand that it is perfectly normal to have a social circle of which only a handful are my true peeps. Sometimes I do have my moments of "I have no friends!" and no Facebook does not count but there’s comfort in finally understanding who my true friends are. True friends don’t care if I have had a bad day, if I have been incognito for months (which NEVER happens), or if I look like a hot mess. They are the ones who like me just the way I am, no matter how imperfect I may be.
9. I don't have time to worry about who doesn't like me. I am too busy loving the people who love me. I no longer need the acceptance, validation, or approval from others to feel good about myself. I no longer feel that I have to be someone I am not. I am me -- and if you don't like me, well that is your problem.
10. Three very important words -- LET IT GO.
11. I got to unplug from social media every once in a while. It will always be there and can wait but moments and adventures will not be as well as will not wait. Get out there and enjoy life!
12. I learned and embraced how to say “NO.” I need to protect my time so that I have time for what, and who, really matters — including ME.
13.I learned and embraced how to say “YES!” to what will feed my soul. Say yes to the things that will bring me joy.
14. Money doesn’t buy happiness; even though people will say it does. Research has suggested that once one’s income climbs above the poverty level, more money results in very little extra happiness. “Happiness is a place between too little and too much” (Finnish proverb). Put my focus on relationships and experiences over stuff.
15. I must accept and embrace change. Believe me, I sure did want to but the way I was going about things did not work and I needed a change.
16. Be okay with OKAY. Stop chasing perfection. I am sure as heck not perfect and those that expect me to be -- look at #3 and #8.
17. I create and manifest my own luck — by working hard; believing in myself; surrounding myself with positive, supportive people; and having the right attitude. It works.
18. I do not have to have a plan for everything -- another bitter pill to swallow. Most times the best things in life are serendipitous.
19. NYC, Paris, New Orleans, having wanderlust -- always great ideas.
20. Find the time to read all of the books! Having a cup of tea helps with this!
21. Failure is a blessing because when I fail that is when I will learn best.
22. Find the beauty in everything around me. It’s always there.
23. Even though I have RA and will hurt afterward -- Push my personal limits and try something crazy that I would never otherwise do, like walking across the Brooklyn Bridge or walk close to 2 miles in NYC while snowing in December. I will glow with victory!
24. Smile. It works wonders for my mood.
25. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME. STOP TAKING THINGS SO DAMN PERSONALLY. In caps for emphasis as this was and will continue to be a big lesson.
26. Nothing happens by accident and nothing is an coincidence.
27. Wearing my heart on my sleeve is stylish and is a true testament to who I am.
28. Having impromptu solo dance parties wherever I am is worth all the stares.
29. My strengths and passions are meant to be shared.
30. Everything I need to be happy is within me, not outside of me. It is no one's job to control my happiness. It is mine.
31. When I don’t get what I want now, it always makes sense why later.
32. It’s always better to bring others up than to drag them down. More people should learn this.
33. I must constantly craft actionable goals inspired by my strengths, passions, and purpose in order to evolve and thrive.
34. I can transform how I feel about and react to anything and anyone by being aware of my thoughts and intentionally challenging and changing them. Also pink salt goes a long way too.
35. Occasionally venting frustrations creates relief, regularly complaining about frustrations creates more frustrations and that does not feel good; which is priority #1.
36. My words really do create my world — both the ones I speak out loud to others and the ones I say internally to myself.
37. I can never be happy all of the time, but I can be happy a lot of the time if I decide to be.
38. Do not measure myself by age. It is just a number after all.
39. Be KIND. It matters.
40. Life is truly beautiful.
BRING IT ON 40!
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
39 Things to Do Before I turn 40
39 years of age.
Today, I am 39 years of age.
How in the heck did that happen? Just yesterday I was 5 years old, sitting in my living room, playing with my Masters of the Universe action figures. Now I am 39 years of age, with a real career, friends, love in my life, money in the bank, and now playing with my Masters of the Universe action figures in my bedroom. But as a woman, the cry of "Oh my Goodness I am turning 40!" is something to be afraid of and to not embrace. We, as a society, have been conditioned to be afraid of turning this number. That being 40 is a plague of some sort. Remember Sally’s meltdown in When Harry Met Sally?
Sally: [Crying hysterically] And I’m going to be 40!
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday!
Harry: In eight years!
Sally: But it’s there! It’s like a big dead end!
Only it is not the end for me. I’m not dreading turning 40. Not at all. I am running towards it at warp speed. I would be perfectly fine to fast-forward through my 30s because they have been a mess. I’d love to start fresh with this new decade. I’d really love to find some deep pockets of confidence and self-awareness. As today is my day of born (Thank you Matt Hardy), I thought to myself -- hey I like lists. Bucket lists in fact. I looked online for some ideas and immediately laughed. These goals are certainly not anything I could achieve with the time I have before I turn 40! For example: “compete in the Ironman Triathlon,” (yeah. You are talking to a person who dreads exercise, even though she loves to swim.) “travel across Europe by train on the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express,” (Um, with the way trains have been derailing lately? Yeah no thank you. I want to live past 40 -- not die at 40) and “go yachting in Monaco or St-Tropez,” (With what boat?) Clearly I needed to create my OWN list, a practical list, a manageable list, a list just right for a geek bookworm teacher without an unlimited budget and private jet. After all, who wants to feel like a failure on the cusp of 40?! So here we go -- Here are my 39 Things to Do Before I Turn 40. I will update this as I do it throughout the year.
1: Watch the movie “This is 40”
2: Go to the Central Park Zoo.
3: Get my lion cub tattoo touched up/redone. (Can not do because of my rheumatoid arthritis. Would be too much of a health risk)
4: Get a new tattoo.(Can not do because of my rheumatoid arthritis. Would be too much of a health risk)
5: Have a romantic picnic and visit an art museum.
6: Do the MP3 Experiment or another flash mob experience through Improv Everywhere. Done on 6/21/2017
7: Have a spa day at Bliss with a girlfriend.
8: Get a professional makeup lesson.
9: Buy new bedsheets.
10: Submit one piece of poetry to a magazine.
11: Name a star.
12: Take a hip hop dance class. Done on January 17, 2018
13: Write more letters.
14: Read 5 books I don’t want to read. (Moby Dick, War and Peace, etc)
Here are the books I have chosen for this
1: Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
2: Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
3. A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin
4. Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
5. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
15: Continue to accentuate the positive in life.
16: Write a sentence every day for a year (March 29, 2017 - March 29 2018) (I did not do this. Doing it now as part of my 2018 goals.)
17: Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. (Done on February 21, 2018)
18. See Hamilton on Broadway. (Done on March 10, 2018)
19. Try a lipstick color that is outside my comfort zone and wear it out for one full day. Done! Tried Colour Pop Cosmetics Ultra Satin Lip in Brooklyn. Wore it out to Pro Wrestling Magic on April 15, 2017
20. Spend an entire day offline. Done on May 20, 2017 and it will be become a weekly habit
21. Grow a plant from seed and watch it grow. Was not from seed but I have a succulent thriving in the window!
22. Forgive your frenemies and move on. I am only hurting myself by holding on to grudges. Stop letting them have power over me.
23. Go back into studying French.
24. Lose 39 pounds.
25. Learn how to embroider. (Done on September 21, 2017)
26. Take a fancy cooking class. (Done on December 2, 2017. Made some macarons!)
27. Complete an art class.
28. Break at least one bad habit. (Done. Have stopped biting my nails/cuticles. Yay for manicures!)
29. Go visit a psychic. Got a card reading at the Pagan Pride Festival on September 30, 2017
30. Write my will.
31. Hand out a $100 bill to a homeless person in need.
32. Get my upper right ear re-pierced properly.
33. Buy a Canon DSLR, read the manual, and set up some photo shoots.
34. Learn how to cross stitch.
35. Stop judging others, more importantly stop judging yourself.
36. Take a class in something weird Radical Self Love Coven, Tap That. I do not think it is weird but others do.
37. Fly in First Class. Not Business or Business/First, but a full-fledged First Class experience.
38. Think one positive thought every day before you get out of bed
39. Breathe this all in and realize I have lived and continue to live one badass fulfilling life. DONE.
Today, I am 39 years of age.
How in the heck did that happen? Just yesterday I was 5 years old, sitting in my living room, playing with my Masters of the Universe action figures. Now I am 39 years of age, with a real career, friends, love in my life, money in the bank, and now playing with my Masters of the Universe action figures in my bedroom. But as a woman, the cry of "Oh my Goodness I am turning 40!" is something to be afraid of and to not embrace. We, as a society, have been conditioned to be afraid of turning this number. That being 40 is a plague of some sort. Remember Sally’s meltdown in When Harry Met Sally?
Sally: [Crying hysterically] And I’m going to be 40!
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday!
Harry: In eight years!
Sally: But it’s there! It’s like a big dead end!
Only it is not the end for me. I’m not dreading turning 40. Not at all. I am running towards it at warp speed. I would be perfectly fine to fast-forward through my 30s because they have been a mess. I’d love to start fresh with this new decade. I’d really love to find some deep pockets of confidence and self-awareness. As today is my day of born (Thank you Matt Hardy), I thought to myself -- hey I like lists. Bucket lists in fact. I looked online for some ideas and immediately laughed. These goals are certainly not anything I could achieve with the time I have before I turn 40! For example: “compete in the Ironman Triathlon,” (yeah. You are talking to a person who dreads exercise, even though she loves to swim.) “travel across Europe by train on the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express,” (Um, with the way trains have been derailing lately? Yeah no thank you. I want to live past 40 -- not die at 40) and “go yachting in Monaco or St-Tropez,” (With what boat?) Clearly I needed to create my OWN list, a practical list, a manageable list, a list just right for a geek bookworm teacher without an unlimited budget and private jet. After all, who wants to feel like a failure on the cusp of 40?! So here we go -- Here are my 39 Things to Do Before I Turn 40. I will update this as I do it throughout the year.
2: Go to the Central Park Zoo.
3: Get my lion cub tattoo touched up/redone. (Can not do because of my rheumatoid arthritis. Would be too much of a health risk)
4: Get a new tattoo.(Can not do because of my rheumatoid arthritis. Would be too much of a health risk)
5: Have a romantic picnic and visit an art museum.
7: Have a spa day at Bliss with a girlfriend.
8: Get a professional makeup lesson.
10: Submit one piece of poetry to a magazine.
11: Name a star.
13: Write more letters.
14: Read 5 books I don’t want to read. (Moby Dick, War and Peace, etc)
Here are the books I have chosen for this
1: Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
3. A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin
4. Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
5. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
15: Continue to accentuate the positive in life.
22. Forgive your frenemies and move on. I am only hurting myself by holding on to grudges. Stop letting them have power over me.
23. Go back into studying French.
24. Lose 39 pounds.
27. Complete an art class.
30. Write my will.
31. Hand out a $100 bill to a homeless person in need.
32. Get my upper right ear re-pierced properly.
33. Buy a Canon DSLR, read the manual, and set up some photo shoots.
34. Learn how to cross stitch.
35. Stop judging others, more importantly stop judging yourself.
37. Fly in First Class. Not Business or Business/First, but a full-fledged First Class experience.
38. Think one positive thought every day before you get out of bed
39. Breathe this all in and realize I have lived and continue to live one badass fulfilling life. DONE.
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